Loquacious to a Fault

I like making lists. It gives the illusion of being organised. When I make lists I can delude myself into thinking I am (a) at least somewhat prepared for the future, immediate or distant, and (b) actually going to do what I've put on the list. Neither (a) nor (b) is ever really true, but at least I can trick myself into believing it for a short while.

So, in the spirit of list-making and such, I present you, oh journal-that-only-I-ever-read, with a list of things I plan to do this Summer, that I will actually in-all-honesty try to achieve!


1. Editing my AVCon footage and putting it on a DVD for Alison. I am the laziest person on planet lazy for not having done this already.

2. Writing.
(a) Original Stuff - I really should work on some of the novels-in-progress and future-novels-in-progress I have sitting all lonesome on my hard drive. That and the super awesome secret collab project I've got going with my buddy club :)
(b) Fanfic - For serious, I think the last time I wrote actual fanfic was like...A LONG TIME AGO. I don't even.

3. Spending Money - On important things such as tickets to West Side Story, Wicked and Sufjan Stevens.  Sooooo excited 8D (also a new xbox... RIP xbox 360 ;___; )

4. Getting a job - kind of a prerequisite for the "Spending Money" part. I should probably have put this before that.

5. Getting my Ls - HAHA. It is less than a month until I turn EIGHTEEN and I haven't even got my learners licence yet, I TRULY AM A LAZY BUM.


Aaaand, I think that's everything major. Now, things I need to STOP doing:


1. Watching and rewatching episodes of Glee obsessively and pining over lack of immediate satisfaction of my need for new Glee episodes.

2. Obsessively watching and rewatching clips for Glee that contain Blaine and Kurt and pining over the lack of immediate satisfaction of my need for Klaine fluff.

3. Rewatching Darren Criss singing Teenage Dream and Hey Soul Sister over and over and over and over and over and over and over... etc. etc.

4. Watching Katy Perry music videos and trying to imagine how they'd sound a-capella with Darren Criss on lead vocals.

5. My never ending quest to find yet more youtube videos of interviews with Chris Colfer in which he is adorable.

6. Starting sentences with "That reminds me of the part in Glee when..." or "That reminds me of this interview with the Glee cast when..." or "That reminds me of a part in this Glee fanfic when..." (seriously, my friends have had no problem with expressing their very deep and never-ending hate of my obsessive self lately)


If you couldn't tell, I kind of love Glee a whole lot. <3

I am in the middle of my final Year 12 exams and I have to say, I've been taking a very relaxed approach, which has consisted of watching the entirety fo Glee and season five of Supernatural, with some intense last-minute cramming here and there. 

There goes my TER. Oops.

So far I've completed two of three exams - English Studies and Maths Studies. Maths was okay, especially considering the very minimal ammount of reivision I did, but I didn't finish it (I had three more questions to do). English was abysmal, which is disheartening, since it's usually my best exam. For the English Studies exam there are three parts, two essays and a critical reading. The essays can be on either Paired Texts, Single Texts or Poetry, and one of those topics will be compulsory. I am not strong on poetry. Many people are not strong on poetry. I had a discussion prior to the exam that went roughly like this:

"I think it'll be okay, as long as poetry's not compulsory."

"Oh God, if poetry's complusory I think I'll cry."

"If poetry's compulsory I'll commit seppuku with my pen."

And, as you can imagine, poetry was compulsory. I actually did seriously consider miming stabbing myself with my pen, just for the benefit of my own amusement and the amusement of the person I'd had the above conversation with, but I realised that she would be too consumed with her own panic to notice my ridiculous antics. So I resisted the urge. The funny thing is, the essay that I'd done most revision for (the paired texts) turned out horrifically, whilst the poetry one was mostly okay, apart from a distinct lack of direct quotations. Whilst half-way through my paired text essay I came to the realisation that it was actually the worst essay I'd ever written, and I wasn't even exaggerating. However, the critical reading contained an article by Jeremy Clarkson which cheered me up significantly! I could hear his vioce in my head as I read the words, and I was very amused, apart from the fact that it made me feel rather like watching Top Gear and not at all like writing a critical analysis of two articles.

Anyway, I've only one exam to go (on tuesday) for Visual Arts Studies, which should be okay. It's only two essays and it's two hours long. I should be perfectly fine. (touch wood).

In other news, I am terribly upset to not be participating in NaNoWriMo this year! I knew from the outset that I wouldn't be able to participate due to factors such as final exams, graduation, celebratory graduation antics, my application for creative writing and a four day retreat, but it still pains me deep inside. I will definitely participate next year, and I plan to spend a very significant portion of my summer holidays chained to my computer writing. For one thing, I've written a shockingly minimal amount of fanfic since my initial burst of fanfic-writing euphoria, which occured predominantly while I was 12. I am now 17. Five years of relative inactivity... I shall forever be ashamed. In addition to that me and my buddy club are writing a super awesome story, plus I really want to make some progress on my original stories, and write something that's cool and not horribly sentimental and angsty for a change.

Also, speaking of Supernatural (like the smooth transition there?) I have to say any character in that show dying has lost any and all emotional impact for me. I mean, the number of reincarnations is almost on par with Dragon Ball Z! No one need fear death in that show! Haha, now that I think of it, it would have been truly amazingly funny if the show had finished after the end of the first series and whenever anyone was like "So, is there going to be a season 2? What happens next?" the creators could respond, "Uh, did you see that ending? They got hit by a truck and now they're all dead. The end."

So, the title is a quote from the song Higher Ground. I thought it was fitting since it won't be long until my school life is over and I can do something productive, but during the meanwhilst the world keeps on turning and life goes on as normal. See how thoughtfull I am? Except, not, since the real reason behind the title is that the song was in my head and I just realised that it could be somewhat relevant after writing it. So yep.

Yes. You can tell what's coming can't you? PROCRASTINATION AND ANGST. That's what. Let's just get it over early so I can move on to slightly (and by that I mean v. v. v. v. v. (etc. etc.) slightly) more constructive activities. So, without any further ado:

 

"Wah! Wah! Wah! Year 12 is so hard! My life is terrible! Being a middle class teenager in Australia recieving a private school education is soooo hard! Wah! I want to play Dragon Age! I'm so sad because my procrastination has actually come around to bite me on the ass! Wah!"

And it's done.

Glad to get that out in the air.

It's kind of hard to feel angsty while listening to the Born Ruffians...

Okay, so now for the slightly more constructive stuff! Get excited!

For Visual Arts Studies this year, there are three parts to my assesment: practical, theory and the Student Choice Topic (from now on reffered to as the SCT). Basically, practical is super happy fun time, in which we draw pictures with crayons and do fingerpainting and such, theory is known as prison, in whcih we're holed up in a small dark room and forced to write notes non-stop about pretentious self-important artsists for an hour, and then the SCT, which is also known as the procrastinator's worst nightmare. The SCT is a BIG ASS assignment (aka mini-thesis) we're given at the beginning of the year and have to hand up at the end of the year. In the mind of the procrastinator this is the cue to say "Oh! Great! I'll just do that later and play through Dragon Age twice now instead." HOWEVER! This extended period of time to work on it lulls the procrastinator into a false sense of security! Resulting in the procrastinator sitting at their desk the night before the first draft is due updating their blog and trying to forget the fact that they haven't chosen a topic, have done virtually no research and are very very very far from even starting their draft. This is a situation I would suggest avoiding if considering doing Visual Arts Studies in year 12.

Having said that, I have come closer to chosing a topic (progress! sort of...) Originally my topic was "woodcuts!" which was fairly general and impossible to write in depth on for 2000 words. So I narrowed it down to "Woodcuts! Western vs. Oriental!" which, as it turns out, is also pretty general. So! Today! I have narrowed it down yet again, to something along the lines of "the way Japanese woodblocks developed under the influence of western art principles and movements and stuff, specifically with regards to the Shin Hanga and Sosaku Hanga movements of the early 20th century". Or something like that, I haven't figured out the exact wording yet. However! Problem! We're expected to get primary sources, such as artist interviews, in our research. Most of the artists (i.e. the one's I've come across in my research)(which are few in number and whom I know very little about) are non-english-speaking dead people. Which makes interviews kind of hard.

ANYWAY. The moral of the story is: Procrastination only leads you to pain, suffering and much too frequent all-nighters. And an apparent immunity to caffine.

Goodbye! See you the night before my next major assignment is due!

PS. I hurt my neck today (twisted it wierd in the shower) and now I can't look left. GOODY.

PPS. It's actually quite painfull... :(

Huzzah!

I'm in a better mood tonight now that I don't have any assignments due tomorrow :) So! Let's talk AVCon!

Some of my excitement for AVCon this year sort of dissipated when Alison (who got me into AVCon and cosplay in the first place) couldn't go because her mother turned into a Nazi :(  But! It was actually fun filming it for her! And the fact that I had to document it for her made me more confident with asking cosplayers for photos then I was last year ^^

FRIDAY NIGHT!
I was there for about two seconds! I had three assignments to do over AVCon weekend (which I should have done in the holidays... but whatever) so I couldn't go on Friday night due to it being the only possible time I could do homework. But I picked up mine and Simone's tickets, a showbag for myself and headed back home for some homeworking and last minute cosplay making. After I'd done my homework I filmed some stuff for Alison's video, and then finished off the belt and headband of my toph cosplay. I was re-excited by my brief visit to pick up my tickets seeing all the cosplayers reminded me of the AVCon atmosphere which is pure undilated awesome. I could hardly sleep that night for the excitement :D

SATURDAY! (In bullet points!)

• I woke up and had to go play a game of soccer! Yeah, did not particularly feel like it. The other team forfeited because they only had 7 players and then we won the scratch match 2 - 1.
• I got home and got ready, had a bit of trouble with my hair.
• Simone picked me up! And we filmed some silliness in the car on the way to the convention centre, only to realise the camera was nearly out of battery!
• We wandered around the vedors hall and the artists alley, met up with Kerri and her friend (as the Hitachin twins!) and collected Alison's money. We spent quite a bit of time today hunting down items on Alison's list and buying random stuff for her (as well as for ourselves)
• We met up with various people we knew, and I met Simone's friend Lily who was really awesome and who hung around with us for the rest of Saturday.
• We met a random youtuber who saw us filming stuff for Alison and gave us some tips! He was really nice and helpful, I should have asked what channel he was, but I forgot to ^^;
• We saw the Tentacles and Mechs show which was entertaining.
• We managed to get into the Quiz Night! We got the very last spare two seats! And even managed to get Lily in when one of the other poeple on our table couldn't make it.
• The Quiz Night was really fun again this year, it was actually heaps fun being on a table with mostly complete strangers. They were really nice and friendly and we even met up with some of them on sunday after.
• Dinner at the Pancake Kitchen - yummy yummy.

SUNDAY!

• Slept in until 9.30 half an hour before Simone picked me up ^^;
   
• Saw Good News Geek, it was hilarious :D
   
• Watched the Steampunk Fashion Display! The costumes were awesome!
   
• Steampunk panel - we met one of our Quiz Night Table friends there and had some pretty cool convos in the line with various people. The panel itself was brilliant, it was very informative and helpfull and now I really want to make a steampunk cosplay!

• Wandered around with another Quiz Night Table friend we met in the food line. We visited the vendors hall and the artists alley again.

• There was a 12 manga for $50 sale on at the Pulp Fiction Comics stall so me and Simone split it and got 6 each, I got 6 Prince of Tenis mangas :) Then I bought two Ouran High School Host Club mangas from the Madman stall. (I also bought a Switch t-shirt and a whole bunch of keyrings)(and some senzu beans and pacman ghost candies)(and some expensive food.) We had some cool conversations with artists in the artist alley, and one of the steampunk panelists had a stall there! So that was pretty awesome.

• We were slightly confused by the xxxHolic movie.

• We tried to watch Soul Eater, but it seems the powers that be did not want it. At first it was playing in Japanese without subtitles, then it was fixed, then after the first episode we were kicked out because the cosplay competition in Hall E had run overtime and the AMV Iron Editor needed the room, then we were moved to the other anime screening hall, then we were told we weren't supposed to be moved there, then we were moved to the panel rooms, then halfway through the second episode the thing decided not to play. I didn't really mind, I mean, it's just an anime screening, I can watch it online whenever I want. Some people were winging about it though. Whatevs.

THE END!

Yes. It's all over now. I was delighted by the number of people that stopped us for a photo, and the randoms who cried out "Toph!" and hugged me :) Toph is fun to cosplay. I didn't finish my Ryth costume, but I'm going to make it for next year since the theme's retro - it's perfect! I also plan to go to Supanova (preferrably in Sydney) and Manifest next year. I've already started thinking about cosplays! So far I'm thinking of

• Kamikirimusi from Soul Calibur 4 (possibly with Alison as Xiang Hua)

• Melissa Mao from Full Metal Panic! (possibly as a group with Simone and Alison)

• Sayoko the ninja maid from Code Geass

• Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle (with Alison as Howl)

• and redoing my Toph cosplay with Alison as Ty Lee.

PHOTO TIME!



Me in my Toph cosplay holding a giant Jigglipuff with a guy from Team Rocket! I really like how my costume turned out this year, but I didn't take any clear photos of it, or of Simone's Katara cosplay D: I is an idiot!

Gosh darn it! The image upload isn't working :( I'll just link you to my photobucket gallery: http://s755.photobucket.com/albums/xx194/oddsplodge/AVCon%202010/

I'm in a bad mood.

Last weekend was AVCon (which was amazing, but I'll talk about that later... with photos!) but now it's just sucky school again. I've been thinking about why I for some reason really, really, REALLY dislike school this year and I think it's because I don't see the point in it for myself. I don't have an ultimate goal to motivate me. Why am I doing year 12? To go to uni? The only uni course I want to do (BCA - Creative Writing if you were wondering) doesn't actually lead to any sort of certain JOB. Which is supposed to be the point isn't it? I mean, I'd be bummed if I didn't get in, but then I'd probably just go do something else, like, take a gap year and work, or do a TAFE course in something.

People continuously tell me about how important year 12 is, how it's going to determine the rest of your life &c. &c. But here's a secret I discovered: THAT IS ALL LIES. Year 12 doesn't determine the rest of your life, there are sooo many more options. Year 12 makes certain things easier - like if you want to work in a certain field/get into a certain job. But, really, when the hell are you ever going to use differential calculus in real life? Why the fuck do you need to know half of the shit they make you learn at school?
 
People put a real emphasis on grades in year 12, I pretend I care (sometimes) but I really, truly, honestly, sincerely, absolutely, from the bottom of my heart DON'T. I do not give a flying fuck what my TER is. You know why? Because Year 12 is about waiting, not about achieving. I'm waiting for it to be over so I can finally live my fucking life the way I want to.

It's not that I don't like my subjects (save for fucking maths that is), or the people I spend time with there -- the people are one of the few good things about school. I actually find most of my work interesting, I just don't want to do it for the rest of my life. I don't even want to do it for the rest of the year, really.

At the beginning of this year we were told about the importance of goal setting, and I've tried, really tried to set some goals. To look at what I really really want and base some goals around that to motivate me. Except this is what I want, at the very heart of things -- to have fun with my friends and family. Where does that leave me? What career requires that? I want to travel the world, going to cons, making cosplays, hanging out with awesome people, having fun and creating things. That doesn't really sound much like the job description of any sort of career I could support myself in. I don't want to be an accountant, a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor, a whatever. In fact, the more I think about what I would really be content and satisfied doing for the rest of my life, the more I come back to creation -- actually making things! I want to do something with my hands, to actually do something physical and useful, rather than sitting at a desk trying to convince myself that there is a purpose in anything I'm doing.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting to live.

I suppose no matter how much I rant about it the result is still the same - I have to finish this year. Just four more months until I'm free, and then from there I can focus my time and energy into something useful that makes me happy. If only I can figure out what exactly that is, and how to turn it into something that will put food on my hypothetical table and all that.

Now, back to my fucking english comparative text essay.

P.S. I apologise for the swears, but hey, what kind of rant would this be without them?

Keeps the writer's block away.

But not really.

So, I've decided that, in an attempt to force myself to be less of a lazy idiot, I shall write a drabble (100 - 500 words) every single day for, at the very least, the next year. I meant to start yesterday, but I completely forgot. So I am starting today, and I must say, my first attempt was utterly pitiful. No really, I mean it. Pitiful. I was actually going to post it here, just so you could see how utterly pitiful an attempt it truly is, but alas I decided that it was far too pitiful to be inflicted upon another person.

And so, I bid you farewell.

PS. I've been watching Merlin, I'm up to Season 2 episode 11 and it is LOVE. <3

I am just over halfway through my first holidays as an official Year 12 student and I have to say: Year 12 is hard. I have mini-trials in under a week and I haven't done any study yet. I've been working on the same Religions in Australia assignment for around five days. I AM SO FAIL. It is official. Guh, cursed procrastination!

In other news, I have been obsessed with Dragon Age: Origins and it's expansion Dragon Age: Origins Awakening. SO MUCH FUN. Like, it is my FAVOURITE GAME. Even topping Jet Set Radio Future, Assassins' Creed and Fable, that is how awesome it is. Bioware are amazing. Go play it. Now.

Also, I know I said I'd keep you updated on my copslay progess, but apparently I fail at that too. I don't have any photos at this stage, but I have completed a grand total of three items of clothing for my Toph and Ryth cosplays! I have done the green shorts and top for my Toph cosplay, and when I try it on I look like a tent! Which, as you can imagine, is exactly the look I was going for... or not. I have also finished my stripy blue leggings for Ryth which I am extremely happy with. I love them. <3 Unfortunately I have very very minimal sewing experience and know not how to go about creating the other more complex items on my to-sew list... we'll see how that turns out, eh?

More also! In a recent bout of extreme procrastination I have been watching epic ammounts of youtube videos in the past week or so. Specifically watching a lot of vlogbrothers, charlieissocoollike, communitychannel, nigahiga, nerimon and fiveawesomegirls (I am very good at procrastination.) Thus I decided to join the nerdfighters ning. It is a cool place. Check it, bro!

And that's all from me for another however many months! Hurrah for inconsistent posting! :D

Hokay, I feel like posting a new journal (and I have nothing to say! What a new direction for me! </sarcasm>)

My mum bought me a brand spanking new sewing machine! I'm very excited. I have absolutely no clue how to sew, but learning is going to be FUN TIMES. (And eventually I'll be good enough to make a cosplay that isn't glued together .__. ) I'm thinking of posting journals (with photos!) of my sewing adventures and progress, so you can watch me fail! How interesting! 

I have exams in a few weeks D: I am all panic-y about it (well, sort of) especially my Chemistry exam. Chem is haaaard! But after this I'll be free! \o/ And then in year 12 I'm sticking to mainly language rich subjects - Visual Art Studies, English Studies, Philosophy, Religions in Australia and Maths Studies.

Every day this week has felt like a Friday. FINALLY THE REAL THING. I'm so tired, I think I'll go sleep for a million years.

Megan Washington has a beautiful voice.

I've been playing Aion recently (well, sort of, I've been doing school recently which sort of impeded my Aion-ing) and it is FUN FUN FUN. I have a level 20 Cleric called Kyouya (yay for Ouran!) I was going to call her Benehime (after Urahara's sword in Bleach) but it was taken :'( It's my first time playing a MMORPG and I'm not so good at the not-dying part yet. And I don't really know how to find groups (some of these quests are impossible to solo) but, I dunno. I'll get the hang of it! n00b-ish-ness can't last forever!
 

I've been reading all this articles on the violence in video games debate for this RE assigment I have to do, and it's starting to get on my nerves how one-sided this 'debate' is. There's hardly ANY alternative points of view, just the same old same old "video games are baaaaad. To hell with Halo, everyone should play Sammy's Science Learning Fun!" Why does everyone think games have to be educational? They're GAMES. They are meant to be FUN and ENTERTAINING. Sure, they can be educational too, but if they aren't it doesn't mean they have no value whatsoever. For crying out loud, some people are so uptight.

I am so completely and utterly doomed. Why? Several reasons. Firstly, I am going back to school tomorrow after spending a week away sick because I have really, excruciatingly horrible contact dermatitis on my hands and I couldn't bend my fingers or hold a pen or open doors or open jars or anything and my hands looked like monster hands and it was really gross and painfull. I went to the doctors and now they're HEAPS better (but not completely), he gave me these pills and this cream and yeah. I'm on my way to a full recovery! Hopefully... But now I am never ever to use soap again, I have to use all this special alternative soap stuff. And I can't wear rubber gloves. Or have really hot showers. Or all this stuff that could potentially lead to another outbreak by irritating my skin or making it dry or whatever.  That's not really the problem. The problem is that I am now incrediably behind in school. Like, really really really behind. I haven't done a whole lot of work over the past week because, surprisingly enough, that requires functional hands. I never realised just how vital hands were before. Chem and Maths especially are going to be the death of me... not to mention I had group assignments for both English and Philosophy... Ah!! I hope my teachers will be super kind and give me extensions :(

On an unrelated note, last Saturday (not yesterday, the one before) my soccer team played the finals of our school competiton! Ufortunately we lost the game (HA HA I LOST THE GAME XD) after a penalty shoot out. We were drawing nill all and then the ref was like "No time for extra time! Straight to penalty shoot out! M'kay?" and our coach was like "Yeah, sure!" and I was like "....NO NOT OKAY D: ..." Because I am the goalie and really, who needs that kind of pressure. I let two in, saved one and let one in. And our team didn't get any in. :( Ah well. We came second, that's pretty darn good, and apparently we ended the competition with the most points. So that's good :)

It seems I have broken my little stint of writing a journal entry a day. Ah well, I knew it wouldn't last forever.

I should really be doing (you guessed it) homework right now. I have a Biology test on natrual selection tomorrow, as well as a Chemistry test on redox chemistry. Not to mention the draft for this big Bio assignment (that I haven't started) is due on Tuesday. Sounds fun right?

Anyway, yesterday morning was fabulous! I play soccer for the Open A's team of my school, and we won a very close game with O (I'm going to use code names for the different schools in the interest of my own parnoia, with T being my team and O being the opposition). It was really so much fun to play! I haven't done that much work in a soccer game since our first game this season (I play keeper and I used to be on the B's team, but was promoted when the A's goalie quit to play Hockey. I have hardly done anything all season because the rest of the team is made of so much epic win) So anyway, the thing is, we've won every single game we've played this season, except for our one against O, which we lost like, 4 - 0 or something (my fault, for being such a shoddy keeper). While our team is, on the whole, more skilled and better tactically than they are, they are far more agressive. Also,  it helps that their best player is their keeper who is really really bloody good.  Anway, back to this week, it was a really close game. We scored about half-way through the first half, and then no one scored for aaaaages. Though there were many shots at goal from both sides. Anyway, in the second half they scored (my fault for dropping the ball like a n00b) and then it was such a crazed frenzy for the rest of the half. We had the most epic, flukiest, awesomest goal ever and we were like "OMG YAY!" It was so unnexpected. Any goal against that keeper of theirs it worth some sort of prestigious award. So then, O's coach was like "giaz! EVERYONE FORWARD! ATTACK! CHAAAAAARGE!" and we were like "uh-oh" And it was seriously some crazy shit! Our defenders are so epic they managed to hold them off until the end of the game. It was intense. We ended up winning 2 - 1, and now next week we're in the finals for first place! :D (after the game my coach was like "It dun matter if you lose the final! You're all winnerz in mah eyez! But you there, keeper, make sure you get good before we play, m'kay?" And I was like ">__> yah")

And I'm sure no one really cares all that much...

Oh oh! Also, I have ordered Shadow Magic! And it's supposed to arrive before the end of August. I am one happy chappy :D

More also, the Festival of the Arts concert on Friday was good. We sounded the best we ever have (hooray for audible altos!). There were a few technical screw ups, some dancers from the junior school are probably epically dissappoited, because their CD decided to be a douche and not work, and then the back up CD decided to also not work, and they were standing on stage for like, 15 minutes, with no sound, looking very uncomfortable. Poor them :(

Anyway, I am off to make a solid homework attempt. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!